How to handle Overwhelm that comes with Fear.
Fear of singing on stage; of not being able to rely on your voice to reach that one note, that beautiful pitch causes a stressed voice!
Fear comes from trying something and failing at it.
And then trying it again and again and repeating the failure till you are a jabbering wreck. Or you just give up!
I know; I’ve been there.
Ever noticed how young children don’t have this problem?
Like any professional training, when I trained I learnt certain defined procedures, ways, answers, solutions, which were vital in the beginning. There was a structure, a tried and true method to start with….fortunately!
As time went on, I became aware that “I don’t know what I don’t know!” I became really unhappy with my performance.
I dreaded the time I would have to get up in front of my audience and start again. The more often I did it the more I cringed at the thought.
I put off making any plans; avoiding it altogether. And afterwards, I would sink into despair knowing yet again that was not my best!
It all felt restrictive; I needed to find out (what I had started to realise) which was that “ I don’t know what I don’t know”!
BUT….when change is called for, do we heed the call?
We try this, we try that and we come back to the same old, same old! No better off; no wiser.
Why would anyone want to change anything anyway?
As the story goes, put a frog in hot water it will jump out immediately. Put it in cold water and raise the temperature very slowly and the frog gets used to it and never gets out!
Put in our own context, it is easier to remain in a situation (or in my case, a certain learned way) while all is slowly going pear shaped. I eventually became so uncomfortable I HAD to make some changes (or like the frog, I risked dying!).
Or stop what I loved doing.
Have you ever noticed this in yourself? The harder you try the more you feel like giving up?
Refining the art of saying ‘no’ is fundamental to changing.
- Saying no to the stress that is caused by excess gripping or tightening in the head and neck joints.
This response results from the natural ‘fright’ mechanism when faced with an uneasy challenge.
It is natural until it is over played. Then it becomes a fixed and tightening response whenever we perceive similar situation.
Because freedom is your nature, saying no to disturbing the natural ease lets the yes surface to easy natural poise.
- Saying no to “Why am I here?”
It is tantalizing to be in a state of confusion, to question your right to face the audience and sing with power. In moments of indecision, singing to your power becomes hugely harder.
One of my favourite sayings is “When I get myself clear, it’s remarkable how quickly you improve!” Changing myself is infinitely harder; but it is the true way to do it.
Saying no to confusion: being clear about your purpose and your power is the sweet spot to giving your audience the best of yourself.
- Saying no to the perception of what others might be thinking of your performance.
It is too easy to assume that the audience is not on board with you. And to (subtly) de-value your presence on stage as a result.
I love this about Byron Katie. She says, “When I walk into a room, I know that everyone in it loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet.”
Say no to the idea of rejection since you haven’t had that anyway.
Acknowledge that you cannot control others thoughts of you.
Say yes to your voice and your best results.
How often do you say no when you could say YES? Can you list your ‘no sayers’?
Write and let me know of your best and worst No’s. I promise I will answer to all your concerns.
Jann
or sign up for a free online course here.
